The Beginning of the End
There is no event so commonplace but that God is present within it, always hiddenly, always leaving you room to recognize him or not to recognize, but all the more fascinatingly because of that, all the more compellingly and hauntingly...listen to your life. See it for the fathomless mystery that it is. In the boredom and pain of it no less than in the excitement and gladness; touch, taste, smell your way to the holy and hidden heart of it because in the last analysis all moments are key moments, and life itself is grace. - Frederick Buechner
Last week I finally finished my course, ended my placement and received a letter informing me that I was now qualified as an art psychotherapist (pending registration). Its a strange feeling, or lack of feeling. As I just finished on Friday I think l I need a bit of space to let it all sink in, so have taken this week off (capernwray work) to have a break, chillax and think.
As a way to celebrate and mark the occasion of ending, I decided to go out for breakfast - something I never do. Since I moved to the area where I'm now living I've wanted to eat in this little tapas place but have never plucked up the courage to walk in, until today. I'm having lovely porridge and a cappuccino. I'm no expert, but judging by the silky smooth froth (Rachel) I think its a good one.
I am sporting a new pair of shoes that I've also wanted for ages and found half price on the internet which arrived this morning, perfectly timed.
So, now that my course is over I feel a lot of pressure to get a job or make some kind of decision about what to do with my life. I have to chose whether to stay in Sheffield, go back to Lancashire or back to the north east to my parents (which I feel a bit compelled to do because of my Mam's illenss and everyone getting a bit older) - there are pros and cons to each, benefits and sacrifices.
I was hoping that finding a job would make my decision for me, but there are hardly any art therapy positions available in the whole of the country, and whilst I have applied for a few things, haven't had any good responses . Most people recommend that you get a generic job in mental health and try to include a bit of art therapy in it, but there are few things that terrify me about that idea. One is that I don't feel I have been taught general skills to work with distressed people without using art (the uk government is pushing cognitive behavioural therapy which is a very formulated quantifiable form of directed therapy which I have never done) and I'm also scared of making decisions and choices for people who have attempted to harm themselves etc. which would be run-of-the-mill stuff for a generic position. Basically art therapy is a bit of a speciality which has both advantages and disadvantages.
My last placement, working in the NHS at a child and adolescent mental health service has been great and yet very challenging at the same time. I've struggled a lot to know how to be a therapist and make reflections to children, when they just think they're making a picture, despite my supervisor making it very clear that I have a natural ability. I've also felt very pressured by the system and official nature of the NHS, writing notes, letters to drs, reports and feedback for families. I think it was all good experience but at the same time am relieved its over - which I can't help but think is a bad sign? I'm sure a lot of these things are to do with confidence and experience and know without a doubt that God has been faithful in making up for my weaknesses and inabilities, getting me through each situation. Most art therapy jobs are within this kind of setting but they don't come up very often and hardly any are full time. I'm also wondering if its good/healthy/possible to work full time as a therapist and so am thinking about how things might work being a part-time 'everything'. I guess right now I'm thinking about the possibility of being more of an artist - something I know I've been harping on about forever without ever really having a proper go at. Yesterday I realised that if I was going to leave my flat I probably should have given my landlord notice a week ago, which means I will have to stay here till the end of September. Having had a bit of a panic about what I'll do with myself for 3 days a week (I'm still working for Capernwray for 2 days, till Sept when that is reviewed) I'm now thinking that maybe I could do something voluntary in the realm of art therapy, perhaps, while having a go at being more of an artist. I hope this week might be a good place to start thinking about what that might entail.
Last week I finally finished my course, ended my placement and received a letter informing me that I was now qualified as an art psychotherapist (pending registration). Its a strange feeling, or lack of feeling. As I just finished on Friday I think l I need a bit of space to let it all sink in, so have taken this week off (capernwray work) to have a break, chillax and think.
As a way to celebrate and mark the occasion of ending, I decided to go out for breakfast - something I never do. Since I moved to the area where I'm now living I've wanted to eat in this little tapas place but have never plucked up the courage to walk in, until today. I'm having lovely porridge and a cappuccino. I'm no expert, but judging by the silky smooth froth (Rachel) I think its a good one.
I am sporting a new pair of shoes that I've also wanted for ages and found half price on the internet which arrived this morning, perfectly timed.
So, now that my course is over I feel a lot of pressure to get a job or make some kind of decision about what to do with my life. I have to chose whether to stay in Sheffield, go back to Lancashire or back to the north east to my parents (which I feel a bit compelled to do because of my Mam's illenss and everyone getting a bit older) - there are pros and cons to each, benefits and sacrifices.
I was hoping that finding a job would make my decision for me, but there are hardly any art therapy positions available in the whole of the country, and whilst I have applied for a few things, haven't had any good responses . Most people recommend that you get a generic job in mental health and try to include a bit of art therapy in it, but there are few things that terrify me about that idea. One is that I don't feel I have been taught general skills to work with distressed people without using art (the uk government is pushing cognitive behavioural therapy which is a very formulated quantifiable form of directed therapy which I have never done) and I'm also scared of making decisions and choices for people who have attempted to harm themselves etc. which would be run-of-the-mill stuff for a generic position. Basically art therapy is a bit of a speciality which has both advantages and disadvantages.
My last placement, working in the NHS at a child and adolescent mental health service has been great and yet very challenging at the same time. I've struggled a lot to know how to be a therapist and make reflections to children, when they just think they're making a picture, despite my supervisor making it very clear that I have a natural ability. I've also felt very pressured by the system and official nature of the NHS, writing notes, letters to drs, reports and feedback for families. I think it was all good experience but at the same time am relieved its over - which I can't help but think is a bad sign? I'm sure a lot of these things are to do with confidence and experience and know without a doubt that God has been faithful in making up for my weaknesses and inabilities, getting me through each situation. Most art therapy jobs are within this kind of setting but they don't come up very often and hardly any are full time. I'm also wondering if its good/healthy/possible to work full time as a therapist and so am thinking about how things might work being a part-time 'everything'. I guess right now I'm thinking about the possibility of being more of an artist - something I know I've been harping on about forever without ever really having a proper go at. Yesterday I realised that if I was going to leave my flat I probably should have given my landlord notice a week ago, which means I will have to stay here till the end of September. Having had a bit of a panic about what I'll do with myself for 3 days a week (I'm still working for Capernwray for 2 days, till Sept when that is reviewed) I'm now thinking that maybe I could do something voluntary in the realm of art therapy, perhaps, while having a go at being more of an artist. I hope this week might be a good place to start thinking about what that might entail.
1 comment:
I think your new plan (artist who does art therapy on the side) is a great idea. What about if you were an artist-in-residence, like in that one gallery we went into in Sheffield. Sounds like a good plan. Also love the shoes, the breakfast looks amazing, and what is that wooden goat head?
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