And so the answer

Yesterday I emailed the college again, because it had been over a week since they said they'd respond and I still hadn't heard anything. They wrote straight back, apologising that their original response must have disappeared into cyberspace, because they had tried to tell me (a week ago) that they thought it would be best if I didn't go for an interview. Although did say that when I had a substantial amount of work to show them, I could apply again. So, here I am, back at the beginning again - as it were.

To be honest, I was quite gutted, feeling untalented, and unartistic and like I'd ruined my own chances of a 'wonderful future'. Unfortunately, the spoilt kid in me appeared pretty quickly and I'm a bit sorry to say that I did feel a bit angry at God for 'forcing me' to stay here longer. Of course I know its not like that really. In another way, I am a bit relieved and am especially pleased that I don't have to worry about money.

Talking of money, my initial solution to feeling down was to buy stuff, cos that always makes me feel better (for a few mins at least), but 'The Irresistible Revolution" (a book I'm reading at the mo.) is challenging me about material possessions and money, and then I thought it was a bit sad to try to use things to make me feel good instead of trusting in God. (I do know its not God's job to make me happy, but I think you understand what I'm trying to say.) Anyway, to my surprise, He decided to give me a great present of a beautiful day. I decided to go to the deer park and had a really great time. I don't mean I had a worship time or anything, but just loved the weather and being outside and the place etc. It was great.
Here are a few pix...
So, I still have a lot of questions, but for today at least, a lot of peace too.