Whirls & Warts
Its been quite a week...thinking....fretting...thinking...wondering...thinking.
On Wednesday Julie and I travelled down to Sheffield to look for somewhere for me to live. I've been searching on the internet for quite a while now, and realised pretty quickly that I wouldn't be able to afford to live in the area I liked, at least not by myself and not in a flat. So, I was getting pretty stressed about it all, as you might have gathered from my last post, really struggling to trust God and to wait for Him to provide. So, after a bit of faffing, some emails (mainly unanswered) and a few phone calls we had 5 properties to look at on our whistle-stop tour. To get the maximum out of our thursday we'd decided to go down the evening before and spend the night in a b&b which I'd found on the internet. The place was called Wartley Hall, a big stately home type place, that was quite grand, but had seen better days, situated about 8 miles outside of the city. Our rooms were in different wings of the house, julie's was enormous with a fire place in the bathroom and very attractive clashing decor, while mine was pretty small with lovely view of a wall right outside the window, but more modern furnishings (looked like the 'hotel inspector' had been). So, we got there about 8pm, had a walk round the gardens and then watched tele and thought of questions to ask at each property we'd be visiting. Then went to be at about 11pm. Up until this point I was quite enjoying my stay. However, that night I had really disturbing dreams, I mean really disturbing. Any of you who know me well will know about my normal crazy dreams, but this was really different. I can't explain why properly, but I just got the feeling that there was something spiritual happening. Either something to do with the place or people who'd been in the room previously. I can't say I've ever really had an experience like that before and I don't know why I'm so convinced that it was spiritual, nothing freaky happened and I wasn't scared, but I just knew I had to pray, so I got up at 5.30 and started reading the book of common prayer, that I'd brought with me. I actually just wanted to leave there and then, but didn't think that was quite fair on Julie, so I managed to pass the time till breakfast. Needless to say, I was feeling a little knackered as we set off for our day.
I forgot to mention that before we'd left Capernwray one of the viewings had cancelled as the property had been rented, and then just as we were about to leave the hotel our first appointment of the day called to say that someone had paid a deposit on the flat I was going to see and so it was no longer on the market. My next appointment was at a place called Whirlow Grange, a Christian spirituality centre in a really nice part of Sheffield. They had contacted me after I placed an ad in the local church saying that they had a bedsit (one room) which would be free accommodation, in return for doing lock up and night porter type duties 15 days a month. So, even though I really didn't want a bedsit and wondered about the hassle of having to be in my room at a certain time for half of the month, I wanted to see what it was like just so I could rule it out ...the fact that it was free was quite attractive.
I ended up spending 1 1/2 hours there. It was kind of like Capernwray, but much smaller and not as much going on. They did retreats and private functions like weddings etc and all seemed a bit more organised and business-like than here. The accommodation was actually better than I expected, although the shower and toilet were on another floor to the bedroom and they were used by other people too. I couldn't help but feel it was a bit like going back to my life on the staff boys corridor. I forgot to mention, I was there with another boy who was also interested in the 'job' and so we were given a tour of the place together then interviewed separately. One very strange thing was that in the first room of the tour, the first thing the man showing us round said was that people often say they can sense the Holy Spirit in their chapel, but sometimes people say they can sense other spirits in the rest of the house...the room where we were was supposed to have been a room where the bishops would sit and smoke cigars, and apparently one guest had said she could see and smell smoke in the spot where they used to sit. After my night before, it just seemed very odd and I couldn't help but wonder if there was something significant in that it was the first thing he told us. Anyway, I had a nice chat with him, he was a nice man and seemed really interested in me spiritually and I realised that being there would not just be a job and free room, but also some form of community and contact. He seemed to know everyone in church leadership, esp the anglican church and I wondered if some opportunity might come from being there, with art and art therapy - he was very enthusiastic about incorporating it in the future. On the down side there was no room for visitors to stay over, which has been something I wanted from the start. There wasn't really any space to paint, although he did take me into the cellars which I could have used even tho it was a bit dark.
So, that was the morning. After lunch we drove to our next appointment which was a fairly new flat in a block of four. The area was a bit poor although the street itself seemed fine. Something I wasn't so keen on was the fact that the flats were all very close together and what had been a large piece of grass at the front on the photo was now a building site, literally right outside the front door. Anyway, as we sat in the car waiting for the agent to come and show us round we got another phone call from him, saying that his car had broken down and he wouldn't be able to make it that day. I couldn't help but laugh. It just felt like God was shutting doors and helping me by giving me less to choose from.
That just left one more place to see. A one bedroom stone cottage that I'd always liked the look of. It was actually nicer in reality than on the internet, although it was very small and I dare say would be pretty cold in the winter. It had a little garden and was very private in a decent area, although much further out of town than I'd intended to live. The landlady showed us round and seemed very nice and accommodating, offering to paint the pink bedroom another colour for me if I wanted.
I left in a real dilemma. I was really confused. It seemed like my head was saying the Christian centre was the sensible option - free, community, spiritual input, good location, whereas my heart was saying the cottage - pretty, private, my own space, room for visitors (albeit very small visitors), nice landlady, wood burning stove.
I really didn't know what to choose. However, the next day my heart had managed to overrule my head and I had more or less decided the house was right. I phoned the agent to tell them I was interested and in moment of crazy spontaneity I agreed to pay a holding fee and begin the application. Of course this was followed by hours of regret and wondering what I'd done, then when I sent m application and credit check forms back and was told that I wasn't earning enough to pay the rent I really did think that I'd made a mistake. This in turn brought on a general wobble about the whole idea of uni and how much it was going to cost and how poor I'd be when I finished. It also made me wonder God was telling me to go to Whirlow grange instead of the house I liked. Again I was stressed and wondering what to do. However, the next day I phoned and spoke to the agent who was very nice and didn't make it sound quite so much like I was a total reject. She said to get round it I could pay the whole 6 months up front, which I originally thought you were spose to do anyway. So that's what I said I'd do. The proceeded with the credit check and said everything was fine and I could go and sign the agreement whenever I want. So, that's where I'm up to - hopefully going again next week to sign and have another look - hopefully I'll still like it!
On Wednesday Julie and I travelled down to Sheffield to look for somewhere for me to live. I've been searching on the internet for quite a while now, and realised pretty quickly that I wouldn't be able to afford to live in the area I liked, at least not by myself and not in a flat. So, I was getting pretty stressed about it all, as you might have gathered from my last post, really struggling to trust God and to wait for Him to provide. So, after a bit of faffing, some emails (mainly unanswered) and a few phone calls we had 5 properties to look at on our whistle-stop tour. To get the maximum out of our thursday we'd decided to go down the evening before and spend the night in a b&b which I'd found on the internet. The place was called Wartley Hall, a big stately home type place, that was quite grand, but had seen better days, situated about 8 miles outside of the city. Our rooms were in different wings of the house, julie's was enormous with a fire place in the bathroom and very attractive clashing decor, while mine was pretty small with lovely view of a wall right outside the window, but more modern furnishings (looked like the 'hotel inspector' had been). So, we got there about 8pm, had a walk round the gardens and then watched tele and thought of questions to ask at each property we'd be visiting. Then went to be at about 11pm. Up until this point I was quite enjoying my stay. However, that night I had really disturbing dreams, I mean really disturbing. Any of you who know me well will know about my normal crazy dreams, but this was really different. I can't explain why properly, but I just got the feeling that there was something spiritual happening. Either something to do with the place or people who'd been in the room previously. I can't say I've ever really had an experience like that before and I don't know why I'm so convinced that it was spiritual, nothing freaky happened and I wasn't scared, but I just knew I had to pray, so I got up at 5.30 and started reading the book of common prayer, that I'd brought with me. I actually just wanted to leave there and then, but didn't think that was quite fair on Julie, so I managed to pass the time till breakfast. Needless to say, I was feeling a little knackered as we set off for our day.
I forgot to mention that before we'd left Capernwray one of the viewings had cancelled as the property had been rented, and then just as we were about to leave the hotel our first appointment of the day called to say that someone had paid a deposit on the flat I was going to see and so it was no longer on the market. My next appointment was at a place called Whirlow Grange, a Christian spirituality centre in a really nice part of Sheffield. They had contacted me after I placed an ad in the local church saying that they had a bedsit (one room) which would be free accommodation, in return for doing lock up and night porter type duties 15 days a month. So, even though I really didn't want a bedsit and wondered about the hassle of having to be in my room at a certain time for half of the month, I wanted to see what it was like just so I could rule it out ...the fact that it was free was quite attractive.
I ended up spending 1 1/2 hours there. It was kind of like Capernwray, but much smaller and not as much going on. They did retreats and private functions like weddings etc and all seemed a bit more organised and business-like than here. The accommodation was actually better than I expected, although the shower and toilet were on another floor to the bedroom and they were used by other people too. I couldn't help but feel it was a bit like going back to my life on the staff boys corridor. I forgot to mention, I was there with another boy who was also interested in the 'job' and so we were given a tour of the place together then interviewed separately. One very strange thing was that in the first room of the tour, the first thing the man showing us round said was that people often say they can sense the Holy Spirit in their chapel, but sometimes people say they can sense other spirits in the rest of the house...the room where we were was supposed to have been a room where the bishops would sit and smoke cigars, and apparently one guest had said she could see and smell smoke in the spot where they used to sit. After my night before, it just seemed very odd and I couldn't help but wonder if there was something significant in that it was the first thing he told us. Anyway, I had a nice chat with him, he was a nice man and seemed really interested in me spiritually and I realised that being there would not just be a job and free room, but also some form of community and contact. He seemed to know everyone in church leadership, esp the anglican church and I wondered if some opportunity might come from being there, with art and art therapy - he was very enthusiastic about incorporating it in the future. On the down side there was no room for visitors to stay over, which has been something I wanted from the start. There wasn't really any space to paint, although he did take me into the cellars which I could have used even tho it was a bit dark.
So, that was the morning. After lunch we drove to our next appointment which was a fairly new flat in a block of four. The area was a bit poor although the street itself seemed fine. Something I wasn't so keen on was the fact that the flats were all very close together and what had been a large piece of grass at the front on the photo was now a building site, literally right outside the front door. Anyway, as we sat in the car waiting for the agent to come and show us round we got another phone call from him, saying that his car had broken down and he wouldn't be able to make it that day. I couldn't help but laugh. It just felt like God was shutting doors and helping me by giving me less to choose from.
That just left one more place to see. A one bedroom stone cottage that I'd always liked the look of. It was actually nicer in reality than on the internet, although it was very small and I dare say would be pretty cold in the winter. It had a little garden and was very private in a decent area, although much further out of town than I'd intended to live. The landlady showed us round and seemed very nice and accommodating, offering to paint the pink bedroom another colour for me if I wanted.
I left in a real dilemma. I was really confused. It seemed like my head was saying the Christian centre was the sensible option - free, community, spiritual input, good location, whereas my heart was saying the cottage - pretty, private, my own space, room for visitors (albeit very small visitors), nice landlady, wood burning stove.
I really didn't know what to choose. However, the next day my heart had managed to overrule my head and I had more or less decided the house was right. I phoned the agent to tell them I was interested and in moment of crazy spontaneity I agreed to pay a holding fee and begin the application. Of course this was followed by hours of regret and wondering what I'd done, then when I sent m application and credit check forms back and was told that I wasn't earning enough to pay the rent I really did think that I'd made a mistake. This in turn brought on a general wobble about the whole idea of uni and how much it was going to cost and how poor I'd be when I finished. It also made me wonder God was telling me to go to Whirlow grange instead of the house I liked. Again I was stressed and wondering what to do. However, the next day I phoned and spoke to the agent who was very nice and didn't make it sound quite so much like I was a total reject. She said to get round it I could pay the whole 6 months up front, which I originally thought you were spose to do anyway. So that's what I said I'd do. The proceeded with the credit check and said everything was fine and I could go and sign the agreement whenever I want. So, that's where I'm up to - hopefully going again next week to sign and have another look - hopefully I'll still like it!
(pix of the spooky wartley hall)(pix of mickley hall to follow)
1 comment:
i'm almost shaking giddy for you man! this is such a great adventure! Shauna and i are very small visitors (just so you know) we might even just carry all we need on our backs.. thanks for the great update... it is starting to get crazy! wheeee!
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