Thursday (written in my lounge)
reflections:
Henri - described how he isn't content with God's love for him and knows this because of his response to hurts and criticism and rejection. Wanting the thruth that God does love him, to enter into the centre of his heart.
The weather today is wet and cold - such a dramatic change. Didn't know how to spend my last day. Wanted at first to do a big hike, but decided my knees were hurting too much and I might be needing them tomorrow! Was gonna drive somewhere to reflect (and also avoid having to deal with the replacement cooker being delivered and fitted [the other one sort of melted]). Thought too that I could just stay here and put all these reflections on computer - didn't like having the responsibility of the cooker coming and the uncertainty of not knowing when, hanging over me. Phoned them and they said it would be after 3pm. Relieved that I could do something and forget about it. Decided to paint. Used 'sketches' from each days response and made 3 paintings on squares of board that I already had primed. Really hope to get them done for the interview tomorrow. Was instantly into them and quite excited with the results - later felt more sober and a bit scared that they wouldn't be any good. Worked on them most of a.m. and some of p.m too. Its much harder to focus on God today, being here, even just being inside. Its great to have subjects and reference matter for my paintings though.
This afternoon as I drove past the pool I saw a woman talking to her friend, standing in the rain, wearing a bright yellow coat with a bright red towel wrapped round her head. The brightness of the colours really stood out among the grey day. A few minutes later I passed a girl walking with a bright yellow umbrella - same thing.
Am really struggling to know God's peace today. The paintings didn't work out as planned - one is OK - I'll take it tomorrow, one is no where near finished and the other is putting up such a fight - dunno what to do with it. Feel discouraged after being so excited. Wonder if the lack of awareness of God, that peace that I've known every other day, is cos I haven't spent time praising Him or surrendering. The other days it was easy, but the circumstances were much easier too - beautiful weather and stunning views etc. Today has been very 'normal'. I need to know Him in my everyday. Feel a bit anxious about tomorrow - just getting everything sorted out to take. Also wondering how I'll manage to carry everything and use the trains, buses whatever. Need to commit it all to Him and gain His peace in that too.
The weather today is wet and cold - such a dramatic change. Didn't know how to spend my last day. Wanted at first to do a big hike, but decided my knees were hurting too much and I might be needing them tomorrow! Was gonna drive somewhere to reflect (and also avoid having to deal with the replacement cooker being delivered and fitted [the other one sort of melted]). Thought too that I could just stay here and put all these reflections on computer - didn't like having the responsibility of the cooker coming and the uncertainty of not knowing when, hanging over me. Phoned them and they said it would be after 3pm. Relieved that I could do something and forget about it. Decided to paint. Used 'sketches' from each days response and made 3 paintings on squares of board that I already had primed. Really hope to get them done for the interview tomorrow. Was instantly into them and quite excited with the results - later felt more sober and a bit scared that they wouldn't be any good. Worked on them most of a.m. and some of p.m too. Its much harder to focus on God today, being here, even just being inside. Its great to have subjects and reference matter for my paintings though.
This afternoon as I drove past the pool I saw a woman talking to her friend, standing in the rain, wearing a bright yellow coat with a bright red towel wrapped round her head. The brightness of the colours really stood out among the grey day. A few minutes later I passed a girl walking with a bright yellow umbrella - same thing.
Am really struggling to know God's peace today. The paintings didn't work out as planned - one is OK - I'll take it tomorrow, one is no where near finished and the other is putting up such a fight - dunno what to do with it. Feel discouraged after being so excited. Wonder if the lack of awareness of God, that peace that I've known every other day, is cos I haven't spent time praising Him or surrendering. The other days it was easy, but the circumstances were much easier too - beautiful weather and stunning views etc. Today has been very 'normal'. I need to know Him in my everyday. Feel a bit anxious about tomorrow - just getting everything sorted out to take. Also wondering how I'll manage to carry everything and use the trains, buses whatever. Need to commit it all to Him and gain His peace in that too.
art:
dora's field - the one painting i finished
after howard - drove me insane and will be painted over any day now.
untitled - and unfinished although i have high hopes
(other bits and pieces weren't finished off - sorry for wonky spacing, I always have formatting problems that I don't know how to fix)
after howard - drove me insane and will be painted over any day now.
untitled - and unfinished although i have high hopes(other bits and pieces weren't finished off - sorry for wonky spacing, I always have formatting problems that I don't know how to fix)
2 comments:
REALLY enjoying the sketches and paintings! i quite like the after-howard piece, i'd love to see it in person. The last one reminds a bit of Ralph Stedman (though not as grusome) and i really like that about it. Excited to see where you will go with it. The days are difficult at times but we must keep pressing in/on as He guides us. Keep up the great work!!!
NOOOOO!! Don't paint over after howard. I love it.. I think it may be my favorite actually. I love that he pratically glows.. there is something exciting and at the same time peaceful about it. don't paint over it please??!
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